MY Father

“Are you scared?”, he asked. That was one of the last questions my father ever asked me before he passed into eternity. I watched a strong man full of hope and life physically fall apart from stage four brain cancer at the young age of 51. A completely unexpected event. Of course, who ever plans for such things as this? Why would you want to attempt to prepare for an event like this? Was I scared? Yes, I was terrified. It was like a piece of my heart was being cut out. I still remember his eyes as he stared at me, They were the same steady, sure eyes I had seen my whole life. Determined and ready to face whatever was to come next, but next was a step from this fragile life into eternal separation from life. What words would you choose when knowing that quickly your next step would be the last? Is it even possible to prepare for those steps that seem to be rushing daily towards us? In the book of James 4:14, he writes, “yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” 

I am not here to try and prepare you for the pain and hurt that comes from this. I am here to challenge you to know that when you make this step you are ready for what is next. The Apostle Paul writes in Corinthians that when we are absent from the body then we will be present with the Lord. We will stand before Him to give account for our lives and the way we managed our steps. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through me”(John 14:6). This challenge is to search this out. The Bible says to seek the kingdom of God, but most of the time I feel like Solomon in Ecclesiastes. “And I set my mind to seek and explore by wisdom concerning all that has been done under heaven. It is a grievous task which God has given to the sons of men to be afflicted with. I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after the wind”(Ecclesiastes 1:13-14). We must begin to understand that there is nothing higher or greater than God and His purpose. Even the devil knew this, his goal was not to be higher than God but to be equal or like the most high. Why? Because he knows that there is nothing higher or greater than God. Do not be fooled to think there is something else special. Let God and His majesty fulfill you. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”(Matthew 6:33). 

I know there are many that can relate to a loss like this. There are many that have been afflicted with the emotions that never fade. We try hard to suppress that pain with no avail. The one thing I am sure of from this experience is that we will all eventually take that step into eternity. Are you scared?, My Father said to me just days before he passed, is something that wrings my heart everytime I think of it. He spoke the words written in the book of Job, “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” He could barely speak as he said this. His final words to me before the cancer fully overtook his brain was, I’m scared, I’m ready.”

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